I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
did you just send me my own nude
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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