He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize