he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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