i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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