Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize