let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
ttyl tear gas
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
