The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
