im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
