Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
