im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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