You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
