Grow some girl-balls and come out already
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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