Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
