This girl is more easily done than said...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
