You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
