There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
