i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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