Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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