I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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