He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
