Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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