I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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