The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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