Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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