i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
