If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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