Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
that may or may not have been my penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
