Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
