so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
