i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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