I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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