so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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