I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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