If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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