Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
