honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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