I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
