he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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