it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
