dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
