drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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