It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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