I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
