Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
either way he was missing a nipple.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
