haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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