she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
