I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it's like heaven, but drunker
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
