I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I did not marry a roomba.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
