He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
