I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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