I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize