Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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