And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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