I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
