oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
