He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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