"it" just moved
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
