You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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