She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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