nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
