There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
