you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Come on in and take your pants off
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